The Used Teabag.









  Benten was busy in the bathroom.  Foxy was a pernickety little
soul, but there were just some jobs he couldn't bring himself to
do; like cleaning the cum stains off of some of his more
expensive clothing.  It transpired that he couldn't bring
himself to take the offending articles to a launderette, for
fear of upsetting the, `very nice', little old women who ran it.
 But he simply couldn't do it himself - so a lot of very
expensive clothing had had to be thrown away as, `ruined'.  This
irritated Benten enough that he'd now taken over the clothes
washing detail.  Not too much like hard work, until you realised
that most of those exquisite outfits needed to be cleaned by
hand.  So - there was Benten - up to his elbows in cool, sudsy,
water for the third time this week.  Maybe Foxy wasn't as dumb
as he looked.  The tabby cat came in and yowled at him,
stridently.  Probably angling for food again, greedy little sod!
 He shooed Woody away with a spray of soapy liquid - the cat
giving him one, long, offended, look before he slunk back out to
the living room.

  As the feline retreated, a different animal advanced into the
room.  Hasegawa glanced at the pile of fabric, but said nothing.
 He might not approve of the on-going relationship, but he had
finally been convinced that it wasn't illegal in this dimension.
 And it was only semen, not blood.  All of Hasegawa's temper had
done nothing - except sour the atmosphere in the flat.  Melissa
walking in on a sheet scrubbing session had had an altogether
different effect.  Juzo did not know what had been said, and
would probably never find out, but things had been calmer for a
while now, and there'd been no more gory trophies hanging in the
bathroom.

  "I'm just finishing in here," Merrill said, "so if you're
going to the toilet I'll be out of your way in a minute."  The
police-chief was dangling something in his hand.  He looked over
at his former hound, "no, that's all right.  I was just sent in
here to dispose of this."  He held up the drenched tampon by
it's sanguinary string, "and this", a clotted sanitary towel
rested in his other palm.  "Wow!  Gusher!"  Merrill stared in
fascination at the debris, he was impressed, his women had only
ever produced delicate trickles.  This was a talent you could
make a fortune from!  "She's making you get rid of them?  Take
those back to Oedo, you could sell them to Sengoku.  I hear he's
got quite a collection these days."

  "So I've heard.  But then, that's the closest shit-wit's going
to get to a cunt, isn't it?"  They snickered in unison, evilly. 
"She's having a heavy one though, isn't she?  It looks like you
could wring that one out!"

  "Yes.. `she' isn't feeling well at the moment.  So we're going
to be nice to `her', aren't we?"

  "Okay, Uncle Juzo."

  "Prick!"

  "Comment, or offer?"

  "Get out of here, toss-pot."

  "Shall I take her out a clean set, for you."

  "Thanks.  She hides them in that cupboard over there.  No,
that one.  At the back."

  Benten fished around and pulled out the cardboard boxes from
behind a selection of grubby floor cloths.  "Why've they been
put back here?" he asked in puzzlement.



                                                                
1.

  "Search me.  She always says western men get, `funny', about
the menstrual cycle, and that Foxy is just about the most
fucking western of men we're going to meet."

  The two men shared a moment of mutual incomprehension with the
enigmatic ways of gaijin.  "They're fucking weird", ventured
Hasegawa, "after all, what other race puts their toilet in the
same room as the bath?"  As he sprayed the dissolvant onto the
paper and cotton products, prior to flushing, Benten piled
Foxy's cleaned wardrobe into a basket to take out to the airing
room.  He dropped the clean plug, and pad, combo on the top
before he exited.

  As he passed the couch, he could see Melissa curled up,
scowling.  Fox sat next to her sipping daintily at a cup of tea.
 She looked up just as Benten tossed the goods into her lap, and
her face pulled a peculiar grimace.  Fox peered at her, "what're
those Mel*... *oogle* I don't think I feel very..."  Thud. 
"That's done it.  Thank you very much, Merrill!  You can pick
him up, and bring him round!"  She gathered up the necessary,
and headed for the bedroom, "I'll be in here if anyone needs
me."  Benten looked from the huddled shape on the sofa, back to
her.  "Sorry about that, Melissa-san.  I guess I just didn't
believe Hasegawa when he told me that you lot were peculiar
about the monthlies."  Melissa froze.

  "You and Git-face have been discussing my periods!!!"  Her
voice trailed off into a high pitched shriek.  She covered her
eyes with one hand, "oh, my Goddess.  You two have been
nattering about my most intimate bits."  Her voice dropped,
"I'll kill him..."

  She turned on one heel, and marched into the guest-room.  The
door behind Merrill swung open.  "Dekacho," he said, "I think
we're in trouble."





























































                                                                
2.