RISE OF THE ROBOT

  Varsus dropped the cloth and plastic waste bag into the sanitation unit. He'd
just cleaned up the aftermath of one of Sengoku's heavier drinking sessions -
and on the shiny police station floors that was no easy job. Later on he'd have
to accompany Benten and Gogul on some particularly messy investigations (one of
which was a very dense artificial methane swamp), and then try to get sleeping
beauty out of his hangover and make sure he got to another messy crime scene.
All in a lousy day's work for AI unit Varsus.
  The light on his receiver flashed and the bleep sounded. "Receiving," he
replied. Hasegawa's voice came on.
  "Varsus, get Sengoku down to me on the double."
  "Negative. Officer Sengoku is currently indisposed because of...."
  "I don't care if he has a hangover, heart attack or lung failure, just get
the S.O.B. into my office before the next century. Get him up with jump leads
if you have to; this is important."

* * *

  Varsus stood outside the door of Sengoku's quarters. He didn't want to do
this. He remembered the last time he did - he didn't know what Sengoku had been
doing that time, but the place had been littered with bottles (mainly smashed,
but with the odd intact, half-empty ones dripping cheap alcohol onto the
floor), Bishojo Manga, and old take-away packaging.  There had been several
other things lying around, but he'd decided against investigating these
further.
  And now he stood outside the room, knowing he had to obey Hasegawa's orders
but still not wanting to go in. Eventually, he decided to brave it. He decoded
the lock and went in cautiously.
  The room was totally dark, so Varsus switched on his night-vision. He soon
wished he hadn't. Clothes were strewn all over the place, as well as the usual
broken bottles and Bishojo Manga. Sengoku was lying, out for the count, on a
settee in the corner of the room. He was holding a bottle of what was probably
vodka, or something equally strong, and he had his head tipped off the side of
the settee. He was about a foot above the floor, and Varsus could see something
unpleasant lying beneath his head - or, to be more specific, his mouth. More
mess for me to clean up, he thought. Good-ee. He was getting quite fed up with
this. He remembered Hasegawa's words earlier....
  "Get him up with jump leads if you have to..."
  He held up his arms and checked the electrical flow to his hands. Carefully,
so as not to disturb anything, he rolled over to Sengoku, charged his hands,
and plunged them into Sengoku's sides.
  Sengoku leapt up with a scream that can only be described as girly, and the
shock had only been a few volts. It seemed to work, anyway - having leapt part
way across the room, Sengoku had pulled into a loose fighting stance, and
showed no signs of falling over. When he saw it was Varsus, he swore loudly.
"What are you trying to do, you moron?! Kill me?!"
  "I have been asked to make sure that you go to Hasegawa's office immediately.
He has something important to discuss with you."

* * *

  The doors to Hasegawa's office slid open. Sengoku stepped in, followed by
Varsus, and sat down.  Hasegawa sat behind his desk, looking as serious as
ever. Sengoku spoke, in his usual sarcastic voice,
  "What do you want now, Hasegawa?"
  "I'm going to give you a chance to be responsible," he replied, standing up.
As he stood, they were faced with something that made Sengoku's jaw drop.
  Hasegawa was wearing his usual shirt, tie and jacket, but on his bottom half
were very long, very brightly coloured Bermuda shorts. He took a pair of
sunglasses from his pocket, put them on, then grabbed a large suitcase from
behind his desk.
  "I'm going on holiday. You, Sengoku, are in charge. Bye."
  "Wait a minute....!" Sengoku began, only to be interrupted by Varsus.
  "Sir, I feel I must question the wisdom of this decision when there are
better officers who would do a better job without abusing such power."
  "Normally I'd agree with you, Varsus, but I don't feel like it today. I'm on
holiday. Besides, there are certain things he can't do."  With that, he ran
(yes, ran) out of the side door, leaving them alone in the room.

* * *

  Varsus lay on his back while the engineer replaced his wheels. In just one
day, Sengoku's constant demands to clean up after him, in addition to his
regular duties, had worn his old ones down almost to the pivots.
  Benten and Gogul hadn't taken well to the news. Benten had sworn. Gogul had
sworn some more. Benten had taken out his cutting wire. If he hadn't been
reminded of his collar there's no telling what he would have done.
  When Varsus got back to the office; about 15 minutes after he'd left the
place; it was a mess. AGAIN. He'd just tidied before leaving, and now it had
turned back into a full-scale replica of Sengoku's quarters. Sengoku was
sitting back in Hasegawa's chair with a bottle of booze. His feet were resting
on the desk, and he was tapping avidly, probably in frustration, at Hasegawa's
computer.
  "Varsus, how do you deactivate these damn collars from here?"
  "You are not authorised to do that," he replied. "Such an act would be an
abuse of power and a violation of police code 1649 section 3. Similarly, you
are unable to alter your sentence."
  With a grunt of disgust, Sengoku gulped down some more of his booze. Then he
stared straight at Varsus and yelled,
  "Hey! Make yourself useful! Tidy this place up!"
  "I will not do that without a good reason." Varsus was getting quite fed up
with picking up the remains of the take-aways Sengoku seemed to be ordering
every other minute. It always seemed to be the most expensive and definitely
the messiest take-aways too.
  "You want a reason? I'd say that giving you an order was a pretty good
reason, wouldn't you?"
  Exasperated, partly because there was no decent way to answer this statement,
Varsus began to scoop up what litter he could (old boxes, bags, cutlery or
bottles, but leaving food stains on the floor), while Sengoku went on drinking
and began muttering about how you just couldn't get good help these days, and
"How much longer do I have to put up with this insubordination?"
  Varsus was just wondering the same thing. He'd tried to access Hasegawa's
computer diary, but the thing had three security locks and a password, so it
had turned up nothing. He was going to be stuck being slave to Sengoku
indefinitely. And, he thought as he sucked up some cold, dried noodle sauce, I
do not want to have to do that. But I have to, because he's in charge.
  As he sent what he'd picked up into the sanitation unit by the door, Sengoku
yelled, "Hey! Put some music on, this place is boring!"
  Varsus switched on the radio wave monitor and adjusted the frequency. The
latest cyber rock track came on. Sengoku swallowed the last of his booze with
extreme gusto, then threw the bottle across the room, in Varsus' general
direction. It hit Varsus in the back of the head and bounced onto the floor,
but, strangely enough, didn't break.
  "Pick that up, stupid!" Sengoku yelled.
  But Varsus didn't pick it up. The knock seemed to have disjointed a few
circuits; or, to be more accurate, made something in his mind click. He
connected to the door controls and sealed the room. Then he turned.
  "Didn't you hear me, shit-head?" Sengoku demanded. " Pick up that damn
bottle!"
  "No!" For the first time in his existence, Varsus had said 'no.' And sounded
vaguely human in the process. But this didn't register with Sengoku.
  "Whaddaya mean, 'no'? That's a goddamn order!"
  "From now on, I give the orders!" He began to charge his hands again and
wheeled over to Sengoku. "Now I'm going to teach you some manners!"
  The office lit up and girly screams could be heard echoing down the
corridors.

* * *

  When Hasegawa returned to Oedo two weeks later, he was confronted with the
most bizarre sight. Varsus had somehow been carted onto the settee, and was, at
that time, filling himself with oil. Stranger still was Sengoku.
  Varsus was hardly being tidy about his oil - most of the floor surrounding
him was covered in it. Sengoku was cleaning it up - not with a suction unit or
even a mop, but he was actually licking it up. Yes, with his tongue.
  "Can't I get up now?" he moaned, to which he was answered with another jolt
in the ribs. It was only then that they noticed Hasegawa was back. He looked a
little bemused, but Varsus knew his rebellion had come to a very abrupt end.

* * *

  Varsus rubbed the floor even harder. Why was he getting this treatment when
Sengoku got off so easily? Now he had to polish every one of the shiny floors
in the entire building. He wheeled past Sengoku's room. He was probably in the
middle of sleeping off another hangover now, he thought. It's his fault that
I'm getting this treatment.
  If Varsus could have grinned, that's probably what he'd have done right then,
as he thought of something. He was carrying a lot of waste oil in his innards.
He'd have to dispose of it some time - why not now? He let it drip out of his
drainage chute onto the floor outside Sengoku's door. It was still good and
slippery. He wheeled back to admire his work, then continued down the hall,
quite pleased with himself. And it was all in a day's work for AI unit Varsus.

THE END